Yesterday, I Cried: Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving by Iyanla Vanzant

Author:Iyanla Vanzant
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Motivational & Inspirational, Conduct of life, Social Science, Meditations, Biography & Autobiography, African American Studies, General, SOC035000, Religion, Inspirational, African American women, Self-Help, Ethnic Studies, Personal Growth, Self-Esteem, Happiness, Psychology
ISBN: 9780684873824
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 1999-09-16T10:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER ELEVEN

What’s the Lesson When You Learn the Lesson, Then Forget It?

For the rest of my life there are two days that will never again trouble me. The first day is yesterday with all its blunders and tears, its follies and defeats. Yesterday has passed away, beyond my control forever. The other day is tomorrow with its pitfalls and threats, its dangers and mystery. Until the sun rises again, I have no stake in tomorrow, for it is still unborn.

Og Mandino, in The Return of the Ragpicker

RHONDA DID HER BEST to like her newfound stepmother, brothers, and sisters. She was surprised to find that they already knew Grandma and Ray. The boys and girls were excited to finally meet their “big sister” and even more excited that she was their neighbor. Whenever they heard Rhonda and her children leaving their fourth-floor apartment, they would open the door of their first-floor apartment just to say hi. Rhonda did her best to be nice to them, but the fact that they even existed made her furious.

Her new apartment wasn’t just tiny, she was sure it was the place that had given birth to claustrophobia. The front door opened into the bathroom and blocked the doorway that led to the children’s room. You could turn around in the kitchen, if you did it slowly. The living room was a perfect little box. It had two windows that overlooked the alley behind the building. The first thing Rhonda did was check to make sure there were no dogs in the alley. There was one. When you stepped out of the living room, you were in the bedroom. The only place you could go in the bedroom was onto the bed, which was pushed up against the dresser. The best thing about the apartment was that there were never any BVDs hanging in the bathroom. Rhonda and the children shared the apartment without benefit of male companionship.

It took about a year for Rhonda to get settled in and to realize that she could not raise three children on a $229 check. What didn’t go for rent went to feed her three growing youngsters. The little that was left went toward clothing, utility bills, and to cover dire necessities. Nett helped out when she could, but she was a bit miffed that her grandchildren were living in the same building as Daddy and “that woman.” John had made it very clear that he wasn’t giving Rhonda any assistance unless she had sex with him. Rhonda’s brother, Ray, was good for a few dollars on Fridays, when he got paid, but Rhonda would have to get to him before he got high. Occasionally, through a temporary agency, Rhonda got work that she did not report to her welfare caseworker. As the children grew, the apartment got smaller and smaller. She thought about moving, but the money just wasn’t there.

When you are in trouble, it is hard to believe that you are being prepared for something better. It is hard to see that the desperation you feel in the pit of your stomach is making you stronger.

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